Hi reader! Glad to meet you again after long. Are you someone who repeatedly thinks he/she might have forgot to lock your door today? In other words, are you someone who constantly overthinks about outcomes of an event even before it occurs ? For some of us, it might not necessarily be a worry, but just a random thought spinning at 7200 RPM.
First of all, pat yourself on the back cause you and I are a part of a league of creative geniuses and amazing problem solvers around the planet 😎. According to a study, those who overthink (especially worry), actually have an incredibly developed and creative mind to thank for their worrying ways.
Well you might say, that is definitely something to be proud about but still want to get rid of this… Well, I am not a psychologist and so the ideas stated are not meant to be diagnostic/medical in nature, but recently I came across a great book which suggested some techniques which have worked for me well and would want to share it with you…
The Problem
If you ever observe your thoughts whenever you overthink, you will observe that there is primarily gossip between two entities: Worrying mind and False Comforting mind. To give you an example lets take the case of post exam thoughts:
Worry Mind: I think I forgot to answer the last 5 mark question in the paper.
False Comfort: No you had checked before submitting.
Worry Mind: What if I have mis-numbered the questions in my answer sheet. The question paper strictly said that answers with incorrect number would not be evaluated.
False Comfort: I think you are overthinking you need to chill a bit.
Worry Mind: But this could have disastrous impact. What if I get failed?
…
We can see that each response of the worrying mind comes with worry of greater magnitude. All thoughts that you think are supposed to give you comfort or make you feel better usually counter act. Therefore this entity is known as False Comfort.
Observations
- The worrying mind usually comes up with a more innovative and threatening worry after each iteration.
- Worrying mind usually resorts to verification as the only solution to get out of the worry. For instance you might resort to returning all the way your room to check if you forgot to lock it or not.
- False comfort has to eventually put a lot of effort to counter worry mind.
The Solution
We not only carry with us these gossipy entities of False comfort and Worry Mind but are also blessed with entity called Wise Mind. The idea is to realise that you don’t need to try harder to find ways to talk back to your Worried Voice, but rather you should stand back and notice what is happening. Listening internally to Wise Mind instead of False Comfort is about observing the process rather than arguing the content of the worries. It is non-judgmental, mindful awareness of the distress, a willingness to sit with the feelings, the doubts, the discomfort — letting go of any urgency to change, fix, deny, banish or even “cope with” the thoughts — while letting time pass.
In simple words, mark and stop the False comforts.
Why this works
The entire cycle is due to inconclusive debate between False Comfort and Worry Mind. To take a real life scenario, imagine 2 people arguing about something. As soon as one person stops to argue, the other one automatically silences down after a while. Similarly as soon as we stop giving ourselves False comforts, the worrying mind will eventually stop arguing.
I hope the simple technique helps you make your life better. Till then Happy Thinking :P Adios!
